Day 20: Dependent Living

Do you find yourself living more dependently during your fast?  Do you find yourself calling out to God more and depending on yourself less?

It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about during my fast. Recently, during a trip to visit our partner church in Estonia, I found myself sitting on a plane in a snowstorm in Germany.  The temperature was well below freezing, visibility was terrible and there was an hour wait for the de-icing trucks.  As I sat on the plane, already in awe of how it ever gets off the ground on a normal day, I thought  “How does it take off safely in this kind of weather?’

Once again, I was in a place of dependence.  The uncomfortable truth is none of us are as in control of things as we like to think.  We have the illusion of control. As I sat on the plane, I told God what He already knew.  “Lord, I have no control of how this goes.  You are in control.”  I didn’t need to remind God of this.  I needed to remind me.

During this fast I feel a much greater dependence.  I am fasting from a couple of things that I want now, but I am depending on God’s strength to get me through.  Each time He has done it.  Each time I wait, strength rises up within me.  We often sing the song “Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord”.  We sing it but have we experienced it?

When I recognize and embrace the truth of dependent living, I find myself thinking, “How can I live every day of my life in complete dependence on God?”  Instead of being reliant on Him every now and then, for this relationship or that meeting, how can I depend on Him each day?

This is what I want for 2010, and the rest of my life. I want to depend on the God who created me, sent His son to die for my sins and now lives in me.  I want to depend on Him to give me courage to invite more people to my dinner table that live in my condo building.  I want to depend on God to give me the eyes to see people who are hurting and need a friend.  I want to depend on God to help me to see more opportunities to get to know the 300,000 people that are in desperate need of Him in our city and that He would give me the love to love them.

And so, as uncomfortable as it may be, I am not in control.  I am dependent.  But this much I do know – His strength rises up when I kneel down.  Dependent. Waiting. Living.

Rod Brown

1 comment

Take a look at some of the responses we've had to this article.